Spring Break is a Misnomer

Monday morning. 7 a.m.  EST.  Sparrows chirp outside my window.  It’s too early for damn chirping birds.

“Mom, you gotta wake up. Ben and I had a food fight,” Jim urges in his shatter-glass voice.

“Huh? What? Why? You what?”

“Threw Frosted Flakes on each others’ heads.”

“Huh? What? Why?” I groan, shifting my weight off my throbbing hip, “Why?”

“I don’t know. Sorry mom.”

Spring Break?  Spring Break is a misnomer.  I break out the vacuum cleaner and gripe until Ben wraps his arms around he and with a soulful look in his eyes exclaims, “I love you Mama! I’m sorry!” My mouth turns up, first on the left side, and then on the right. I grin and hug him back.

2:53 p.m. “For the seventh time, get in the truck NOW.” I holler, exasperated. I do not answer Jim’s question about our trip to the dentist. I am too busy avoiding the colorful line of bicycles parked in the middle of the driveway. Damn. One of these days I am going to take out the mailbox. I contemplate if taking three kids to the dentist on a azure-blue sky Spring day is such a sane idea.

4:37 p.m. My husband stands in front of the kitchen sink with paper towels and a plastic container.  “Did you know what they were doing outside, El?” I make my face look innocent and mumble, “No?” Madeline runs into the kitchen yelling, “Ew, get the boys away from me! They reek of suntan lotion.” Travis sets his suit jacket down and shakes his head. “Um, they sprayed suntan lotion all over one another and all over your truck. So now they’re going to clean it.” I say very little.

7:30 p.m. We walk the children until they drop, or so we threaten. It only takes an hour of walking and as we patter along, we reminisce about the time a couple of years ago the boys broke out the Ben-Gay. Unfortunately they did not wash their hands before they used the bathroom and then raced, yowling like cats into the bathtub.

11 p.m. It’s quiet. I thank God for the small things. But wait! This is too peaceful.

Tuesday morning. 7 a.m. “Mama! You gotta wake up. The bottom of the bucket broke and . . .” My head jerks up. I remember the time Ben and Jim sunk the titanic in the downstairs bathroom sink and the water exploded into a maelstrom of suds and mess and spilled on the floor. And then I smile, relieved. My daughter is talking about the blue bucket hanging from the maple tree, which contains a potion of some sorts. I grumble, “Come wake me in an hour. It’s too early.”

8:05 a.m. The garage door slams. My eyes flip wide open. I hear the sound of children laughing and yelling. I walk to the windowMy Jim, smirking and peer through the blinds and try to make sense of what I see. Three children run up and down the sidewalk in front of my home pulling suitcases. And then I look more closely. I recognize those children. They look a hell of a lot like me. And then one of them spots me and smirks at me. He is of course one of my children.

Spring Break is indeed a misnomer.

© April 3, 2012

20 Comments on “Spring Break is a Misnomer

  1. Hahaha! Indeed. We had the pleasure of spending Spring Break dragging an increasingly cranky child around on the so-called “worst vacation ever” while we grilled nine schools in four days FOR HER and scoured neighborhoods for where we’ll want to live. The Man and I both agreed Spring Break was way cooler when we were young 🙂

    On a side note–did you redesign your site? I like. Very much.

  2. We don’t get a week-long Spring Break here, because we get a week off at Mardi Gras. So for us it’s just a really long weekend, starting Thursday. Yet another great thing about living here. 🙂

  3. For the last few years, we have been stuck at home because:

    1) I threw my back out: that killed Hawaii.
    2) a major snow storm in Atlanta ruined our chances if getting to Jamaica.

    This is our year. Do not curse me, woman! 😉

  4. I love that picture of your little one- it has so much personality in it!

  5. Oh yes, so true about all “breaks” from school.

    Meanwhile, can we talk about your blog’s new look? Did you change the font? I want the font on my posts to appear bigger. I’m too much of a wuss to figure out the css stuff. Is that what you did or did you change themes completely?

  6. Nina–amen.

    Yes, I changed to the fusion theme. But once in that theme, I messed with my fonts until I got it right. Here is how it works (at least with Fusion–hope it works for you). Go to Dashboard. Click on appearance, then custom design. Once you get there, on the left side, it will say Custom Fonts. Next to it is a button — change fonts. Click on that. Then, once you find the font you like, there is a little button + . Click on that until you get the fonts big enough and then save changes. I use different fonts for body text and the title. Hope this works!

  7. Laughing…. so hard…

    This is why I fear my children being awake and about with one of us. With it’s just my son, he’s an angel. When his sister is tossed into the mix, anything can happen.

    So is this a preview of your summer?