Questioning Faith

I don’t talk or write much about religion because it confuses me.  I am not an atheist or an agnostic.  I am not a Catholic or a Methodist.  I am not a Baptist or a Buddhist.  But I do believe in God.  I try to be true to my beliefs, whatever they are on a given day.

In my tentatively titled, upcoming novel, Ripple, one of my main characters is a mother whose daughter was raped.  After she takes matters into her own hands, Helen contemplates how to talk to God about what she has done:

Helen didn’t know what to say to God so she said the Lord’s Prayer.  She didn’t feel like it made sense to ask for God’s forgiveness.  She had done what a mother must do.  And if that meant she was going to Hell, she was willing to pay her debt.


Helen is a high-powered big firm lawyer, with a $20 million book of clients.  At the pinnacle of the legal profession, she is not in the least bit in touch with her emotions.  Even though she does go to church, she has drifted away from God and when she needs Him most, she has no idea what to say.

As I constructed Helen in my head, I tried to imagine how a rational woman almost devoid of emotion would express her feelings, and often, her inner dialogue sounds like that of a confused teenager.  Most of the time, however, she sounds heartless.  Except when her daughter is hurt.

Even the most rational of mothers feels strong emotions about their children.  Helen drops to her knees, both figuratively and literally, when she realizes that her daughter’s world is crumbling.  Helen’s well-honed rational mind has no power to fix what is broken.  She must be guided by her emotions.  She is bereft.  She feels empty and frightened and alone.

Helen is not based on me, but she does what I have done in my moments of desperation.  She begs, beseeches, and cries out to God.  She takes comfort in knowing that He is still there, always listening, never leaving her side.

Of course, Helen does not abandon her rational side.  Even as she prays, she muses about the meaning and existence of Hell:

Hell.  I don’t really want to live there for eternity.  Is there even a Hell?  Does it make sense, really?  I love how Dante describes it.

And Helen doesn’t spend much time praying or even contemplating religion, even in her time of greatest need.

Helen told herself to stop worrying about hell and get a grip.

After all, she has things to do and a life to live.

What does this mean about my own religion?  Like Helen, I have a finely-crafted rational mind.  Unlike Helen, I feel and base my actions more on feelings than on thoughts.  I am not a stranger to prayer or to God, but organized religion puts me off.  I have seen visions of God and of angels; I have battled demons and I do believe in the power of evil.  But even as I fear evil, I believe that good will prevail. God is good.  In the end, He wins out over evil.

In my next book, I will explore the battle between good and evil, light and darkness, and Heaven and Hell in much more depth.  Perhaps by then, I will have more of my own religion figured out.  One thing I am certain of is that God doesn’t mind all of the questions I ask.  To paraphrase the late and great G. K. Chesterton, the woman that questions and still believes in Him has a faith that is all the stronger.

Do you come by faith easily?  I’ve been having on ongoing dialogue with the lovely Deb Bryan, and would love to continue this discussion with more of you. That is, of course, if you feel comfortable talking about it. I can promise you one thing: any discussion or debate here will be undertaken with love and respect. With that in mind, what are your thoughts and feelings?

37 comments on “Questioning Faith
  1. El, I love this post! Definitely want to join the discussion on faith. Don’t have a lot of time right now but will write more later. Thank you for opening this topic and pressing us to expand our minds.

    • Thank you so much Stephanie! And the more we talk on this issue in a loving and open and way, the better (IMHO)!

      • That’s the key – loving and open. That’s why I want to join in. On my own I realized that God is also loving and open. This realization came to me about about 2 years ago after much prayer. I was raised in the Catholic Church but never before did I know that God loved me. In LITTLE 15, the Church has an over-arching presence in the story that overshadows Lauren. There is no forgiveness or mercy – only judgment and condemnation. Although I’m still a practicing Catholic, there are many things in the Church that I disagree with. In fact, I went to a priest in college and told him about all the things I didn’t like and that I was thinking of leaving the church. He was very understanding and told me that I needed to do what was right for me. But then he told me something that has stayed with me forever – God didn’t intend faith to be easy, in any religion or denomination. So with that, I veered from the church but years later came back, skeptical. And still didn’t feel any type of closeness to God. Then I hit a dark time in my life and turned to prayer for help. I turned to God. I got upset. I yelled at Him. I questioned Him and then I asked Him for peace and guidance. After that, books and other religious sources of faith (like Joyce Meyer) started to be laid at my feet. It’s been a journey – one that I’ve taken up solely on my own without any guilt or pressure from a religious institution. So much more I could say … I now look to God for inspiration – in my writing and in my life. And time after time, he continues to open doors and to place opportunities at my feet. When I teach my children about God, love is a over-arching focus. I tell my sons every night without fail – “You are a beautiful, wonderful child of God and God loves you no matter what. He is always there for you. He wants good for your life. All you have to do is ask.”

  2. You know, I too have always had that conflicting internal dialogue going on since I was a child sitting on that church pew listening to the preacher talk about Hell and the tormented souls who are thrown there because of their sins and non-acceptance of God. I remember being afraid as a girl thinking if I screwed up, I was going to Hell, and it terrified me really. That is my memory of “religion” growing up, and it was never about the joy or comfort of God being there for me as I stumbled down the path of life. As I grew and matured and changed my opinions about things, my attitude shifted to more of an acceptance of an all-mighty presence in my life and in the world. I feel that now, God is real, He’s there, and there is a divine plan for all of us- we all have a purpose here, whether we understand it or ever know what it is.

    Through the loss of loved ones, and the experiences of feeling a spiritual connection with them after they’re gone, I have come to the absolute resolution that there has been a holy, divine presence around me when I need it most. I have felt the unexplainable chill when miracles happen around me, the message from a loved one through a dream or obvious communication through my children telling me that they saw their Grandad after he was gone. I know there’s a beautiful life after we leave this shell on earth, and because of that, I have to believe that there’s something there, bigger and brighter than anything we could ever imagine. That is my faith, and I am not big on organized religion- feel it’s a game that most people play to earn heaven points, etc…But, through it all, I believe in, and have felt those miracles in my own life, and there’s no logic to it really, it just is! Just my two cents! 🙂

    • Beautifully said, Marie!! And I could have written paragraph two. I have felt His presence as well in times of need, during a couple of near-death experiences, including a trip down the tunnel toward the light (He sent me back) and I have felt His grace and His presence. Just — amen, my friend!

  3. Retro wifey says:

    I would love to join a discussion on faith, the older I’ve gotten the more I understand things on my own and just not what was drilled into my head as child and teen. I believe in God and my questions to and about him are endless, I’ve often referred to myself as a modern day doubting Thomas! Nice post El!

  4. Such a powerful post, El. I loved how you are able to discuss something so personal as religion and create a safe place for others to talk about their own beliefs. Bravo!

    The way you described yourself in the first few paragraphs, I was nodding my head right along. I can’t really put my religious views in a tidy little compartment. It’s hard to articulate them because my entire life has been spiritual. I grew up believing in God. I’ve read the Bible. Although there are some good things about it, I have found things I don’t agree with organized religion–specifically when it’s used to separate or isolate individuals.

    I found my own way through the years, my family never pushed any specific religion on me. I hardly ever went to church but I consider my extremely spiritual. I know there is a higher power. I’ve felt it, I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced miracles. I believe in prayer and angels. God, for me, is more like a deep personal friend, a connection. This higher power or being or energy (whatever term we use) to me means: love, acceptance, peace and understanding–all-encompassing. And I try to live my life that way.

    • Thank you so much, my friend! And just like you nodding your head, I am nodding along as I read what you have written above. I too have experienced miracles. I believe in prayers and I saw angels, especially when I was young. I have felt God’s grace. Indeed, the main reason I believe in God is based on my own sensory perception (I am stubborn that way–sigh). And yes–I try to live the same way. xo.

  5. I think you captured how a lot of people feel about faith. It is confusing. But we don’t always appreciate the little holy moments that occur everyday. Those moments connect us to the Divine. In Judaism, we don’t actually believe G-d is “wholly good.” In the end, we can interpret the stories and see G-d’s intentions were for good, but we see He can be destructive, vengeful, angry…and, as in my son’s Torah portion, he kills his own people by plague by an enormous sinkhole. The reason for doing this make sense when one looks at the BIG picture, but we don’t always see that view.

    I’m not huge on organized religion that is divisive or separatist. But my community is warm and accepting. I feel fortunate to be where I am spiritually.

    • Hello dear friend. You weathering everything okay today? How many days left? I love what you’re saying about the little holy moments that occur everyday. Whoa, that is so cool, that G-d isn’t wholly good! I agree that he did a whale of a job breaking things (one of my big smiles) . . . and the reasons may NEVER make sense to us mere mortals, you know? But I do trust that He had a plan.

      Yep, separatist religions stink. I am *overjoyed* that Judaism has welcomed you with warmth and acceptance my friend. And so fortunate indeed!! xoxo

  6. EllieAnn says:

    This really makes me look forward to reading RIPPLE!
    I’m not religious. I don’t enjoy the “religiosity” of church buildings and certain things to say at certain times. But man, I love Jesus so much. I love his life. I love his stories. I love the way he treated women and kids. I love the way he treated prostitutes and socially unacceptable tax collectors and lepers.
    I want to be like him, I want to see him, and I want to follow him. That sums up my belief system. I think he’s the greatest.

    • Aw thank you so much Ellie Ann!!

      You know, yes, Jesus rocked!! He was fantastic, and I love everything about Him. And we need not accept His divinity to appreciate his goodness. I love your belief system–big smile at you!!

  7. Carol B. says:

    I wanted to respond yesterday, but frankly I was too busy at church. I was once exactly where you are. I had a strong personal relationship with God and Jesus and I really didn’t like the hypocrisy of “church folk”. Then, when I had kids I started searching for a church that maybe wasn’t so awful. I wanted my daughter to be brought up learning about Jesus and his love. I found a great church, but it was not traditional at all. Then, when I went through a divorce I had this support group of loving and wise people. They weren’t judgemental and they were very good to me and to my ex-husband. He had cheated on me and was suicidal. I was not exactly the person to talk him off the ledge, as I was filled with anger at him. The church loved on me and they took care of him too. Not with judgement, but with forgiveness and love. A forgiveness that I didn’t have in me at the time. I left that church and moved away after my divorce. I had a hard time finding another church and once again…went on my own with my personal relationship with God. I’m not saying that it’s bad to be on your own, but I knew there was something missing. I needed that fellowship of others with similar beliefs. Years later, I remarried and moved to a new area. We started looking for a church that my husband and I could both love. We totally found it! I love my church. I believe that God made us relational people and although it is our relationship with him that is most important. It is also important to be in relation with others. The church is supposed to be the hands, feet, heart and soul of God. It’s impossible for one person to do all the things that a church can do. We can help people in our community, help people overseas, and help each other in a way that is big and powerful. I have a tremendous support group, study group, having a great time group, raising my children group. I also can be that support to others. When someone in our church has a need, we are all over it. People with meals, childcare, prayers, support just show up and are there for you without you even having to ask. And, I can tell you that being there for someone in need can be a huge blessing. There is something very powerful in doing God’s work and helping others. On my own, I could do that, but I wasn’t connected to people in the same way. And, I have a hard enough time feeding my own family. Being a part of a church connects you and you just do a small part of something much larger. Ok, so I didn’t mean to hijack your thread. I just know that great churches do exist and they may not be in the big building with white columns. They can be non-traditional and in non-traditional settings. So, seek and try them out. There are tons of believers out there just like you. You can connect to them online, but when they are a part of your church home, they can actually love on you and feed you and be there for you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Also, I said I was too busy at church yesterday. I really am busy on Sundays. I am a part of the worship team and I was there most of yesterday. I don’t play an instrument or sing, but I’m pretty good on the computer and I run the video and words at my contemporary worship church. I’m not someone who thought she would ever have a talent or a gift to offer, but God is using me to help make our worship service an incredible experience. It’s a blessing. Sure there are still some judgemental people and I’m sure that I can be judgemental as I’m judging those judgemental people. We are all just people, flawed and messed up. Once you realize your just one messed up person in a group of other messed up people and your just trying to make life better, it’s easier not to judge, but accept and forgive. Trying to live like Jesus and enjoy each other with a good meal and fellowship. That’s church to me.

    • Hello Carol!!

      I loved your comment above (and that was no hijacking!! I am honored to hear your views!! In particular, I loved this: “And, I can tell you that being there for someone in need can be a huge blessing. There is something very powerful in doing God’s work and helping others. On my own, I could do that, but I wasn’t connected to people in the same way. And, I have a hard enough time feeding my own family. Being a part of a church connects you and you just do a small part of something much larger.” Yes, that makes total sense–it helps me to deal with my own sadness and trauma when I help others.

      And yes, I shall–I shall seek them out, my friend.

      I love how busy you are on Sundays! Oh, and I also liked this that you said: “Once you realize your just one messed up person in a group of other messed up people and your just trying to make life better, it’s easier not to judge, but accept and forgive. Trying to live like Jesus and enjoy each other with a good meal and fellowship. That’s church to me.” –love what church is for you!!

      Again, thank you so much Carol!!

  8. I relate so much, El. Thank you for addressing such a hefty topic with eloquence and grace!

    When I talk to my mom about faith, I use the word ‘God.’ When I talk to my brother, I use words like ‘energy’ and ‘spirituality.’ With my hubby, I use ‘connectedness,’ and with my close girlfriend, I use ‘the universe.’ I believe there’s more than “just us” here, and have learned that the terminology matters less to me than having faith in myself, the world and others.

    • Thank you so much August, for your kind remarks and for Tweeting this post! And I forgot to thank you for Tweeting my Anger post as well–so thank you so much!!

      Now that is so cool, how you use different terminology for each person you talk to . . . I sometimes do the same. I try to converse with my friends of many faiths, for example, without twisting my faith but also while really respecting theirs. One of my BFFs is Buddhist and I have learned a great deal from her; in fact, my therapist (Christian) gave me a great Buddhist book that I used for a lot of my cognitive behavorial therapy–which has worked really well for me.

      And yeah, I believe there is more here than just us. Hehehe–that is going to be Novel #2. (grinning).

  9. gojulesgo says:

    Along the lines of what Darla said, I love that you and Deb both create safe places for people to talk about these topics and question things aloud! I don’t know if I believe in God as a single, definite being, but I certainly believe in energy/karma (and I think I believe in guardian angels!), that good begets good, etc. My main issue with organized religion is that it always seems to alienate another religion. Then all credibility starts going out the window for me and I shut down and think, “Really? You’re basing your entire life on fairytales and everyone who doesn’t think like you is damned for all of eternity? What purpose is that serving?” And then it’s just a downward spiral that makes me really worried about the power some of these people hold, and well, I won’t even go there, LOL

    P.S. – I cannot WAIT to get my paws on this book 🙂

    • gojulesgo says:

      P.P.S. – But I should add: I do think there are LOVELY ‘religious’ people in the world, who use their faith to help -and not judge- others. Which is exactly what I think having faith is all about.

    • Aw thank you Jules!! I deplore when people divide and create strife rather than reach out and to try find common ground. Would that our elected officials tried to do this!

      Aye to guardian angels–mine have gotten my butt out of trouble more than once! And I hear you re energy and karma–some of my closest friends are Buddhist and there are so many elements of that faith I adore.

      Yep, I have the same element with organized religion– :sigh: since the beginning of time, we’ve shed blood over religious differences. And the concept of others being damned for eternity–well, I believe there is some form of Hell but I do not think we go there if we’re Protestant instead of Catholic, for example. I mean, we’re humans interpreting God–how in the heck do we know anything?

      Ah–thank you so much re Ripple!!

  10. Dawn says:

    El, I have such mixed feelings about religion and God. I enjoy the ritual and sense of community experienced through organized religion, but resent the power such organizations exert to present their own agenda under the guise of “religious beliefs”. I also resent the tendency such groups have to rob women’s power. That being said, the tragedy that struck my hometown last spring, combined with a few of my own personal tragedies over the years, has definitely tested my earlier beliefs about God, or a higher being. I definitely believe there is a common bond that keeps mankind connected, and I also believe that different cultures have different names for this – even though it is probably the same force. I also like what a friend of mine told me last year: “We can not see things in God’s perspective, but He has a plan and in the end it will work the way He needs it to work out.” Hopefully I will continue to learn and grow through the years. In the meantime, I will remember we are all connected and should therefor all watch out for and support one another. 🙂

    • Hello Dawn!

      I too have mixed feelings. Like you, I worry about misuse of organizational power to further agendas and the detrimental effect exacted by religions on women’s rights. And personal tragedy tends to test (and sometimes to strengthen) our faith. I’m sorry about your personal tragedies, by the way.

      Yes, I also believe that we have different names for the same being. I have no idea who is right and yet that no longer causes me too much anguish. As I tell my children, God loves you. That I know. God loves us so much, he decided to create each one of us before we were even born. Now THAT makes me grin!

      Yes–we are connected–totally agree with your last sentence.

      Thank you for your insights!!!


  11. Laura Wright says:

    Faith is believing in the absence of proof or even logic. That’s what makes it so hard! We are logical and rational beings, and faith seems to defy all that we stand for. The God I believe in is a loving God, a God of mercy. He doesn’t cause things to happen to us, but He does help us through them. He doesn’t cause war…man does, with his small-mindedness and hatred. He doesnt’ cause us to get sick…man does, with all the chemicals that we use despite knowing that they cause cancer and other illnesses. But He gives us the solutions if we’ll just listen (which we won’t). We’re too wrapped up in our petty differences and our love of money. The God I believe in cries for us and for what we bring upon ourselves. But like a good parent, He sits back and lets us make our own mistakes, hoping that we’ll learn. He’s taught us well, He’s given us the tools to make sound decisions, and now it’s up to us.

    Those are my thoughts.

    • Yes Laura: faith is believing in the absence of proof or logic. And for us rational types, it can be incredibly hard to figure out how to believe without the logical grounds for it. What helped me, oddly enough, is my own senses. I had a near-death experience as a teenager and I traveled toward the light. My heart stopped beating and I started to leave, but He sent me back, and made me understand (not in words) that I had more to do. And I saw angels as a small child–so hey, I believe.

      And yes, we have free will–God gave us the power to create and destroy and too often, we destroy. That is our fault, not God’s.

      Well-said and thank you so much for joining our discussion!!!

  12. Am I late to the discussion, I hope not. I have a very difficult relationship with religion, faith, God et al. First, I am a recovering Catholic, raised in a family that professed many different faiths and believed none of them (Southern Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, Presbyterian even had a few Universal Unitarians thrown in there for good measure). I am married to a man raised in the Pentecostal Church of God of Prophecy (what I fondly refer to as Jesus Jumpers and Bible Thumpers). The mother of my heart was likely the only real true, died in the wool, lived the the word Christian I ever knew in my whole entire life (she was a life long Methodist). All that being said, with the exception of my Heart Mother, I am one of the few people I know who has actually read the Bible (all of it), this includes both books, all the laws and even the boring parts.

    Laura said Faith is believing in the absence of proof. This is true, today though it is far more difficult than ever before when we not only have an absence of proof but a plethora of proof to the contrary, all we need to do is watch the acts and listen to the words of those who would inform us they are the voice of the Most High on this earth. If this is true I would say God needs Lithium, probably in large doses.

    Over the years I have evolved, I have read and read again the Bible and many other Holy books, one thing continues to strike me they are all essentially the same; consistent in their message and demands. Worship me, do good to each other, take care of the poor, etc. There is not inconsistency. Where the inconsistency comes into operation is when Man interprets and changes the message for his own gain, which he has done time and again. Social engineering has been going on for thousands of years, Paul probably being the first Christian engineer but certainly not the last.

    Is there a Hell, probably not (just my opinion). Is there purgatory (no, that is just a Catholic thing). Is religion Faith, no Religion is getting dressed up in your Sunday (or Saturday) go to Meeting clothes and proving you are a good participant. Faith is something personal and intangible, requiring no public validation or proof only that you walk in the footsteps of your belief and live by the moral value system without demanding others do the same.

    Just my view. I am a Deist by the way.

    • Valentine:

      Never too late!! And what a fantastic, well-reasoned comment by the way!!

      Good on you for actually reading the Bible. I have studied and read most of it but so much in the Old Testament puts me off . . . too often, men misinterpreted what God said and twisted it to fit their evil designs (or so I think). Your heart mother sounds lovely, and many, many Methodists are lovely people.

      Yes, yes, on your paragraph starting with Laura . . . and a big, belly laugh re Lithium!!!

      I agree with this: “Worship me, do good to each other, take care of the poor, etc. There is not inconsistency. Where the inconsistency comes into operation is when Man interprets and changes the message for his own gain, which he has done time and again.” Yep, for sure, and yep, Paul did lead the way.

      Hmm. I think Hell exists, even if it is just the absence of God. Dante’s vision of it was cool but total fiction. Yep–dressing up is meaningless.

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful remarks above!!

      • I can only go with Hell and Purgatory as defined by my Catholic memory, under this definition I don’t shop at Wal-Mart.

        Nowhere in Torah is eternal punishment or suffering mentioned, nowhere. While certainly the Old Testament version of God can be a bit off-putting, there is balance when taken as a whole.

        Gehanna (Gehinnom) is the only close proximity that can be found to the Christian version of Hell. It is a place of purification before a soul enters Gan Eden. There is a vast difference though, a soul can only reside in Gehanna for 12 months, no matter how terrible a life. The other real difference? A soul can repent at the gates of Gan Eden, thus never entering Gehanna at all.

        This is likely the genesis of Purgatory.

        Gehanna is nowhere mentioned in the Torah, only in other Rabbinical writings. The other interesting side note? Hell, is not really mentioned anywhere in the Bible. There are a great many assumptions made about what things mean, but there is really no mention of “Hell”. If we agree the first five books of the OT are Torah (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) the Talmud are the additional writings (there are actually two) and codification of Law from oral history. The Torah is part of Christian theology, the Talmud is not which means the oral history of the how to apply the 613 Laws of Torah is lost to us without these it is nearly impossible to evaluate the meaning or even why something was Law at the time.

        Sorry to go on. Religion, its beginnings and impact on society is one of my favorite subjects.

  13. Ha! I’m not very good at discussing anything that can be controversial in nature. But, I am willing to offer what I’ve found. I do believe in God, fully, and unconditionally, and this has come through the back door of recovery, not through religious upbringing. I used to be opposed to church, what I thought it meant. But, the reality is, there are good places of faith, and not-so-good places of faith. People are people, whether they are religious or not, spiritual or not. We all have our fallacies. Since becoming a Christian I have put more effort into seeking God. I’ve read the New Testament and am slowly making my way through the Old. I question-EVERYTHING-but deep down inside I know He’s there, and I believe He’s held me up when no one or no thing could. And, my churches over the past decade have been my support system, an extension of my nuclear family. I can’t imagine having come as far as I have the past few years, particularly, without the support of my church. They surrounded me without judgment and lots of love (yes, 3 divorces before age 40, and no one kicked me out, LOL), and rallied around Maycee and I when we were subjected to volatility. I’m very grateful that I didn’t allow my contempt prior to investigation prevent me from seeking. All of that said, with or without church, God is the base of my life today, and for that, I’m amazed. Did I mention this post was totally awesome, El? I love it when you share snipits from your novel, too. 🙂

    • Hello SWM!!! Well, it is safe here to chat about this–no one is allowed to act like a jerk (man it is nice to have your own blog isn’t it? We can create a warm, well-lit place where folks can talk without worrying about being judged or mistreated)! Recovery has helped so many of us find our way back to God. As confused as I get about religion, I know God will give me a shoulder to lean on when I most need one.

      Like you, I question everything!! Especially in the Old Testament, because hey, man is a fallible creature. Who is to say if he got it right when relaying the Word?

      Grinning at you re no one kicking you out–so happy your have found comfort!! And I am *grinning* at the thought that “God is the base of my life today, and for that, I’m amazed.”

      And thank you re my novel and your kind remarks!!

  14. Helen sounds like a protagonist I’d enjoy spending a book with. 🙂

  15. I Know I am late to comment. I just read this and what amazes me most is that I posted just about this in group yesterday. I can’t believe how in synch we are sometimes. It’s almost spooky. I love the post and you know I can’t wait to read Ripple. xoxoxo

  16. robtjr60 says:

    YES!! I would love to join in any discussion of this nature. Your question of whether or not faith comes easily to me is two-fold. Yes, it comes easily to me now and I turn to God for all things. I talk to God constantly. He hears me! How do I know? Because He answers me. God speaks to me! But, only when I stop to listen. At this point the readers are saying to themselves, “Oh, we’ve got one for the Psych ward here!” Think what you want. Your perception of me matters not anymore, for I have given my life to Christ and He has filled me with the Holy Spirit. I do not here voices in my head. God’s words do not speak to my ears. If it were so, I would be so scared that I would think that I am insane!! No, God speaks to my heart and then uses me to achieve His needs. Yes, El, please do not leave me out of this discussion because I have the logical and Biblical answer to your question about your character.

    This time God has sent me to answer your question to spread His message of love.

Please tell me how you feel!

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